Wednesday, November 19, 2008
i don't look better than a lot of guys. i'm shorter than a lot guys. my results aren't as good. i can't sprint as fast. my stamina sucks. that's why i always can't find a girl whom i like and make her like me back? no matter what i do.. is that being emo? no that's reality. if you've nothing better than other man, the girl you like won't like you. she'll like the better one. isn't that so very true?
my muscles all aching. all over. tomorrow i think it'll still be as bad. so during training i won't be able to serve properly. and then kena owned by everybody. table tennis now also have warm up exercises lor. and it's really gay. coach said it's because the pe department wants us to do it. yea. and it seems like we're doing everything judo is doing. they greet their coach, we have to too. now we have to do warm up exercises too. we're doing everything judo is doing la. the only difference is that we don't throw people. yea. maybe next time our physical training really judo coach takeover. coach said that before. later next time really liddat.. what the hell.
tomorrow i need to wake up in the morning. and that's damn early cos i wake up in the afternoon everyday.
i realised nowadays i'm feeling very empty. cos i'm close to no one. and sometimes i get mood swings. again. i thought the mood swings stopped. but now it doesn't appear to be so.
i guess i've changed a lot from the me when i was in primary school. i don't know. but i can really feel the change. sometimes i don't know even the things i do and why i did do them. and sometimes i wonder what i am now. i'm still me. but i'm different. i guess that's the only explanation.
i'm scared of amanda. every time i talk to her i try to get very patient. and i really am very patient when i talk to her. because whatever she says i won't lose my cool. it someone else said them then it would be a different case. yea. i'm scared of her. not the primary school one la. yea. i'm scared of a girl one year younger than me. very brave right. oh i should just dig a hole in the ground and keep myself inside.
i go sleep ready la, asshole. i have to wake up in the morning tomorrow. dunno why coach changed training time. but he did. so bye.
Ng Guan Yi at 2:29 AM