Tuesday, September 30, 2008

my loose shoulder is acting up again x( very pain.

Ng Guan Yi at 11:18 PM

and ya. I wanna grow tall. really really tall. cos I just wanna grow really tall!! xD

Ng Guan Yi at 11:11 PM

she loves somebody else. not me, anymore.
cos i'm quite sure i'm not the one she was talking about.
i mean, why not? we appeared in each others life at the wrong time.





so let's be just a part of each others memories;
最美的爱情往往只定格在回忆里




扰乱你的人生；
是我
如果能让我重新再来一次，我希望我不曾出现在你生命中

Ng Guan Yi at 10:10 PM

Thursday, September 25, 2008

you're strong, i'm not. every time you get just a little stronger, i get a lot weaker. now i've got no backbone. but you know i never mean it when i say i'll get out and away. cos i've never imagined how life would be without you. and i've never thought of living without you. you make up a great part of my life. you're important. that's why i never wanna lose you.

but if one day i shall put in the effort and try to do just that, and you're still not softened, then i hope we can still remain as friends for life. cos i don't wanna lose you then. for you are what you are.

Ng Guan Yi at 12:17 AM

Monday, September 22, 2008

i shouldn't have said all those things lar. i'm sorry kay. i just felt so empty after that night. but you know i'm really struggling. if you had pulled me up and out of all these mess, i'd have been very grateful. but you were... i don't know what. but i sort of can understand okay. so i'm not saying anything anymore. cos i don't expect you to be there for me all the time, and be the only one trying so hard to make things right. no i don't. but i've never played with your feelings. i mean, NEVER.

whether you read this or not, please know that you'll always be a part of me. and i dont wanna lose you. i'm sorry. cos i really got nothing to defend myself. and if that's what you want, i'm gettin' the hell away.



saturday morning. i broke my guitar string.

Ng Guan Yi at 8:31 PM

Friday, September 19, 2008

i'm outta your life, baby. we lost it all. finally after almost 3 years. we finally lost it all.

Ng Guan Yi at 11:31 PM

1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that you have in common with me.
3. Whatever you don't bold, replace with things about you.



01. I hate losing memories I thought I’d cherish forever.
02. I will still change the rhythm of my steps in order to step on a crunchy leaf or kick a pebble.
03. I wonder if I'll ever complete / create something that is worthwhile.
04. I wish I were better at interacting with the rest of the world.
05. Facebook loves me.
06. I waste time on trivial things.
07. I wish I had a passion for something.
08. I procrastinate terribly on everything.
09. I wish Gmail allowed multiple accounts to be logged on at once so that I can check all my mail simultaneously.
10. I am constantly predicting how people will respond to me.
11. I can't stand being ignored when I don’t want to be, obviously.
12. I want to be needed.
13. People without empathy (sociopaths, sadists) terrify me. in fact they piss me..
14. I'm not-so-secretly sappy and romantic.
15. I still believe in miracles.
16. I am awful at having a conversation with people I don't know, unless they initiate something.
17. I want to learn German.
18. I have a lot to learn.
19. I don't like rooms without windows.
20. I crave human touch
21. I like owning my books.
22. Sometimes I take a disliking to people completely irrationally.
23. I hope I will change someone’s life for the better in the course of my own.
24. I get drunk easily. Not alcohol drunk but drunk from breathing or even some mundane thing that makes me high.
25. I hardly ever have a single, definite favourite song/singer/band/actor/etc.
26. There are a lot of movies I want to watch someday.
27. There are also a lot of books I'd like to read someday but I know I won't be able to read them all.
28. I love singing other peoples' songs.
29. I am only OCD for quite a lot of occasions. what's OCD?
30. I have no idea what I want to do with my life really (although I've thought of being a missionary, banker, doctor, lawyer, teacher etc. )
31. I admire people who have a clear plan and actually planned out the steps to take to achieve whatever they want.
32. I do not wonder if there's any point to accomplishing anything or trying to make the world a better place. I know that it is to glorify God. i'm not christian. cao.
33. I've never been to outer space!
34.
35. I want to be happy.
36. I think people who type one letter at a time with their index fingers are cute. Until half an hour later when half a paragraph is hardly completed.
37. I am guilty of saying “lol” in real life. i never say 'lol'.
38. I have brain cells I never use. I'm sure.
39. I pick up new hobbies and get bored of them quickly.
40. I find it hard to say ‘no’ to my friends.
41. I love cooking and baking and enjoying myself in the kitchen but i've never really done so.
42. I have seen a rather idealistic dream life that I wouldn't mind living
43.I just want kids not necessarily before 25.
44. I wish I knew more interesting people. I love the interesting people I know already.
45. I am so nosy about people I care for.
46. I keep all the letters I've received from my friends.
47. I don't really like sleeping in complete darkness.
48. Sometimes I really want to let everything go and jump
49. I believe in love.
50. I like to think I learn from my mistakes.
51. I mind going with the flow, wherever the current might take me. I need to know where i'm going.
52.
53. I never make my bed. But I do lie in it.
54. I wish I had more self-control.
55. I am not a cat person.
56. I love pretty harmonies in songs. what's that?
57. I don't have a paying job right now.
58. I don't doodle when I’m bored.
59. There are no times when I want to socialize only so people will think well of me.
60. There are things that I don't mind doing, except I don't do them because of what people would think. (how true)
61. I sometimes wonder how my life would have been different if I had done a number of things differently.
62. I am afraid of screwing up my life in the long run.
63. I never leave messages on an answering machine.
64. I'd much rather not make face to face contact, or instant message, and talk on the phone. I like talking on the phone!
65. I absolutely cannot stand second-hand smoking.
66. I used to be ridiculously selfish about possessions, friends or even interests that I think make me unique.67. I spend on food really impulsively.
68. I am a closet masochist. hneh? what's that?
69. I hardly judge people, and that sometimes makes me feel I am sadly unopiniated. i judge :l70. I'm completely different around different people.
71. I cannot imagine how i would survive on a deserted island
72. I cannot multitask well; I will inevitably neglect all tasks except one. (eg. I won't listen to any music that's playing at all if I'm working)73. I am drawn to intellect and humour. And charisma and intimacy.and lots of other qualities.
74. I am a closet exhibitionist. Does that make sense? I secretly want to tell the world my darkest secrets, but I don't. not really
75. I fear having to comfort the ones I love because I want to be enough.
76.
77. I hate changes, I am a creature of habit and nostalgia
78. I don't like to badmouth people, and sometimes it makes me uncomfortable to get gossiped to
79. Celebrity gossip doesn’t interest me much.
80. I can be occasionally annoying.
81. I sometimes worry or dwell on worst case scenarios / morbid thoughts.
82. I love song some lyrics.
83. I remember lots of things for a very very long time.
84. Sometimes I wonder why we even exist, and even a religious viewpoint can't adequately answer that question for me. i know what my purpose is on earth and will do my utmost to do so.
85. I love bicycles more than cars
86. I am easily disturbed
87. I love it when people really listen. (And I love it when I can tell that's what they're doing.)
88. I am afraid of being forgotten.
90. I have never really opened up, confessed everything, to anyone in my life
91. I get attached too easily.
92. I want to be a good person.
93. I am very thankful for the few who have decided to be part of my life.
94. I am a big coward actually
95. One small thing can make me cry.
96. This meme is far too hard omg.
97. I say the same things a lot.
98. I like expressing my opinion or thoughts in a language you don't understand.
99. I really love hugs. ( -hugs- )
100. I spend way too much time on the internet.


got this off someone's blog. i didn't follow rule number 3. cos i was too lazy. haha xD

Ng Guan Yi at 11:31 PM

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

fuck. i managed to kick the habit of saying that. for quite long. now it's coming back.


爱你？也许我从来都没有过……

Ng Guan Yi at 9:42 PM

Monday, September 15, 2008

it takes a man to fall in love. but it takes a bigger man to pick yourself up again. if that's the measure of a man, then i'd be every man in no man.

Ng Guan Yi at 12:23 AM

Saturday, September 13, 2008

maybe i've let you down.. i know i've promised you heaven and all.. but right now i think i've fallen for some sec1 judo girl whom i don't know at all. yea i dont know her. but that feeling is just so different. it's like never before. maybe you were right, vicky, i'm just a bastard. you were right.

it's just the beginning.. i should be able to stop all this nonsense right now.. it's not too late to stop this now. but should i stop? it's not like i'm interested in judo or whatever. but there isn't many girls like her in judo. in fact, there's only one of her. yea.

maybe she's just another one of the girl i'm thinking of randomly. in the end i'll run to you. that was what i said. i'm not very sure now... but maybe i should really stop all this right now.. seriously i should. and i'm trying to. vicky, dont say anything. cos i'm really trying. very hard. so dont say anything else. really.

Ng Guan Yi at 12:00 PM

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

today there was this superman who came to our school.. he tore a phone book, rolled up a frying pan, lifted two boys with a metal bar and spun them around, bent the metal bar with his teeth, and broke a baseball bat. with ease. he was an ang-mor. strong like shit.. i'm gonna be like him xD haha. impossible. but he said never give up. he said so xD

then third lang. i went 1hr 45mins late. so i sat for 15 mins and then the lesson ended. then chair wasn't even warmed by my ass. but at least i got some idea of what was going on.. yea.

then later went back to RI to prepare for this drama challenge shit. yea. then got screwed by a teacher. asshole. lao char bor ready still come jibai. not like she's stacy's mom lar. stacy's mom is so hot. xD

stacy's mom has got it goin' on !!! xD xD xD i'm high.

(stacy's mom is not a person)

Ng Guan Yi at 11:46 PM

Thursday, September 4, 2008

today i trained for like, the whole day. in the morning train with the gan eng seng girls. i think i like it more when i train with other people(there was only me, although dylan ban came later). cos then i'll be more serious. then i'll improve xD

but the girls arh... i dunno lar. they keep on laughing when i play lor. dunno why leh. but their balls all very weak. and no spin. then i keep on "la"ing out. and their smack is like.. they whack the ball damn hard, and i still have to push the ball to get it over. a few were strong la yes. one or two liddat.

then afternoon i trained with the ball shooter. very spin and powerful. i cannot block at all. it's like suddenly so powerful ball, after one morning's training with the girls.

then go to 2m. for drama challenge. make the props. the classroom stinks k. then went back to gym. with chenxiang and tianpei and haosheng and chenwei to play table tennis. then went to eat. thenwent back to 2m. play table tennis again. in class. so today was basically like this. oh ya and today morning i saw a snake. in our school. as in a real snake! how cool is that man. in the school!

the most interesting part of today was in the morning xD something happened. yea it did. she happened xD

so now, i'm learning how to draw orangutans.

Ng Guan Yi at 9:42 PM

woah.. i went to eat with my sister. downstairs where we live. then after eating we went to school. i took mrt she took bus. although her school is just beside my school..

later on the mrt. just as my train was about to leave, i saw joey walking out of another train. but when i saw her the train door closed.. so she didn't see me. then later i realised that i didn't bring my socks!! i brought my shoes and i didn't bring my socks! i was wearing slippers mah. then i didn't thought of the socks. so i had to train with shoes without socks. and my feet is still hurting now x(

after training i went to jump trampoline with nicky. he never jump before xD so i went to bully him. cos like every friday me n gang will go and jump, june holiday also jump a lot, so i can jump quite okay(minus the tricks of course). as in i can jump quite stable and can go very hiiigghh! i went to jump beside him(on the same trampoline), haha then made him fly about. so funny man. xD

today is a very cold day. i wanted to on air con but my parents didn't allow. cos they said today is a very cold day.

here is a lame joke my friend told me today:

what do you call a blind dear? - no idea.
what do you call a blind dear not moving? - still no idea..
what do you call a blind dear that has got a lot of blood? - bloody no idea!!

julian is so cute xD and zhao kai is so lame xD

Ng Guan Yi at 12:44 AM

Monday, September 1, 2008

she suddenly changed a lot. i didn't do anything wrong did i? haiz.. dao me la thanks.

i'm so surprised that chenwei still remembers vicky's url. he's memory quite good huh. xD

vicky's trying to find out "jay"'s real name. xD look carefully it's all over my blog. :)

Ng Guan Yi at 8:57 PM