Friday, November 28, 2008
i next year going 3G. but still okay la at least got kai yang and huifu same. others i don't know. but i scared my jap cannot follow.. i already forgot a lot ready.说好的幸福呢 - 周杰伦
填词：方文山 作曲：周杰伦
你的绘画淩乱著
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱著歌
假装没事了
时间过了 走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
离开时的不快乐 你用卡片手写著
有些爱只给到这 真的痛了
怎麼了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
开心与不开心 一一细数着 你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我都还记得
你不等了 说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转著 要怎麼停呢
你的绘画淩乱著
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱著歌
假装没事了
时间过了 走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
离开时的不快乐 你用卡片手写著
有些爱只给到这 真的痛了
怎麼了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
开心与不开心 一一细数著 你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我都还记得
你不等了 说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转著 要怎麼停呢
怎麼了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
我都还记得
你不等了 说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转著 要怎麼停呢
Ng Guan Yi at 1:26 AM
Thursday, November 27, 2008
hey today i won parry!! 11-3. yea. and that's a happy thing. cos parry is damn pro. really damn pro okay.. yea. and i use 滑面(dunno whether it's this hua) still quite good okay.. i just realised that. i still know how to block and flip and 拉. and really a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot better than before i changed to 长较. and i'm quite happy lor.i think i'm a very petty person. whenever i see ....... i get very uncomfortable. i know she's not my anybody and i'm not her anybody and i'm not in any position to be jealous, but i think that's what i'm feeling and i can't help it. i really can't. and i dunno how to control my emotions and that's why my emotions are always in a mess. and that's why i try to never feel anything when i'm outside (as in not at home) or when anybody else is around. then when i'm alone and i think of what happened before or what i saw or whatever then i'll start feeling anything and everything. and then emotions would take over and that's the real me nobody really seen before. i'm really very weak and sometimes without knowing it myself i do cry. i know that sounds damn gay and embarrassing and boys aren't supposed to cry and cannot cry. but yea. i'll be stronger.
amanda today never online again. maybe she haven't ok yet. or maybe she avoiding me. cos she likes to avoid ri guys. but if she's still not okay i hope she gets ok soon. haha. i not used to not talking to her. haha.
i really don't wanna like anybody. and i wanna forget every girl. so sad there's nothing that can do that for me.
Ng Guan Yi at 1:08 AM
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
eeeeee. amanda never come online today x(( actually i dunno larh. cos i came online at 12.20 am. but she caught the flu bugg... yea. so should go sleep. sleep sleep sleep. i know she won't read this.. but i hope she rests well and recovers very quick. really. my friend's mother said that when someone is thinking of someone, that someone being thought of would sneeze. is amanda sneezing now? haha xDhey i sound damn gay right? amanda said so. yea. actually i think so too. ok i will change. i'm a man!!!
i dunno why i'm thinking of amanda. maybe it's because she's sick. ya should be. yea. aiya dunno lar. think so much for what.. i should be sleeping now tomorrow have training. bye.
Ng Guan Yi at 1:53 AM
Saturday, November 22, 2008
i nothing to do. so i took some quizzes. yea. seriously bored. ya still got i wanna say sorry to amanda. sorry sorry!! (not the primary school one) i didn't mean to go offline suddenly one.. ya. i told christina to tell you ready.. and ya. the way the things are, i most probably won't be coming online for some time. so i'm damn sorry!!!You Are a Cat |
 You are very independent and reclusive. No one really understands you, and you like it that way! You are quite clever and ingenious. You can get yourself out of any sticky situation. You are confident and cool tempered. You know you have many advantages and resources to draw from. No matter what life throws at you, things always seem to work out your way. |
You Are a Positive Person |
 No one would accuse you of being too negative! You're a naturally upbeat and optimistic person. Like everyone else, you come across things you can't stand every day. But unlike everyone else, you ignore what annoys you and focus on what uplifts you. |
You Are 48% Perfectionist |
 No one would call you a perfectionist, but you definitely have a side of you that strives to be perfect. Try to see your mistakes as learning experiences, and don't be so hard on yourself when you screw up! |
Your Heart is Feeling Passionate |
 Your heart is brimming with passion, intensity, and extreme lust. You definitely have desire for one particular person, and it seems like nothing can squelch your craving. You are ready to walk across fire for the one you love. Deep down, your heart is susceptible to: Distrust and aggression . You're determined to get what you want. Your current outlook on love: Love equals obsession. Love equals mania. Love equals thirst. Your love life will improve if you: Follow your passion far, but not so far as to ruin your life. Watch out for: False feelings. Your emotions are intense, but they could easily mislead you. |
Ng Guan Yi at 12:09 PM
Friday, November 21, 2008
i think elaine is damn funny haha. i just read two of her posts and i can't stop laughing.somehow sometimes i think i'm more suitable and would be more happy to be a girl than a boy. girls can talk on the phone for hours and hours and they can get very close friends who can go shopping together or stay over at each others house. boys leh? when boy A smses boy B, all he gets is a one word reply. boys never pull another boy to go to the toilet at night when they're scared. (not that i wanted to pull another boy to go to the toilet with me before, or that i was scared to go to the toilet) boys never shop together. (sometimes some people in my class do, including me, but that's cos we're waiting for a movie to start and then got nothing to do so a whole group of people walk around together) i like the way girls live. but then again, there may be a lot that i don't know. because girls are so difficult to understand. and because we're boys we never get too close to any girls at this age. but i'm happy being a boy. and no i'll never go for a sex change or something. NEVER. i'm born a boy therefore i'll live my life a boy. this thought is just something that pops out when i got nothing to do.. it comes.. and it goes. ok? and yea. there're so many times i was happy before, being a boy. and there're many many things only boys and boys can understand and laugh together about. and i'll find my girl. working hard. i already found her. just that it's not very possible she'll be mine. but i'm working very hard.
reflections about 2008:
it's a bit late but ya. 2008 haven't over yet. and my class. 1b and 2b. we came as 31 in sec1 and we left as 1 in the end of sec2. although it became 30 in the middle of the road, and i still miss dearly the 1 that left us, we went through a lot that brought us as 1. believe it or not, whether we really were able to leave as 1 or not, we did it. pang cried on the last day of school. maybe it's just him and maybe he thinks it's not enough, but he's done a lot for us. all the bad moments would be experiences, and all the good moments would be memories. i've been wanting to say this for so long. with so much to take away, why is there the need to cry? no doubt i'd miss 2b dearly, yea, and although i didn't cry, but i do feel the pain as i'm typing now, as it reminds me of how we'll be separated next year.
and although me and somebody ended last year, it's only this year i really let go and put the past behind and got over it for nuts. before i-dunno-which-part-of-this-year, i would always get very uncomfortable and start hating nigel when i learnt that she talked to him, but daoed me. i became unreasonable and refused to look at it that way. but it really was her choice. it's only now i dont feel a thing for her then i could see it. dunno whether i spent almost 1 year (from 14 october to 23 june) on a relationship that didn't really existed, it's in 2008 that i've put it down and got over it. the thing is, it's only quite recently (in fact it's a day or two before her birthday) i found out she only took me for a ride then and cheated and toyed with my feelings. i pity myself. really. but now i found the girl i was living for. and i don't care about the past anymore. i know i'm gonna get so very hurt in the end because she may not like me that way even after a long long time, but i don't care and i can't. i'm just looking at now. yea now. and i can only see now.
i wanna get into the school team next year. i know i can and i deserve to. at least more than miao does. and since he can get in why can't i. i know i deserve it more than him. but why the hell didn't i get in? i'm so much better than him okay. so much. so very much. yea. but i'm scared i may not get in again..
Ng Guan Yi at 2:47 AM
Thursday, November 20, 2008
i received this no number call in afternoon. when i was sleeping. at exactly 4.40 pm. i dunno the voice also."hello"
"hello"
"why didn't you turn up yesterday?"
"what?"
"why didn't you turn up yesterday?"
"huh? who are you?"
"oh my god.."
and then she hung up. i mean, what the hell. i didn't ask anybody out and nobody asked me out. i'm sorry for not turning up for whatever i didn't know i was supposed to turn up for can?
Ng Guan Yi at 8:39 PM
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
if infatuation never dies... then what is it?Ng Guan Yi at 11:22 PM
i don't look better than a lot of guys. i'm shorter than a lot guys. my results aren't as good. i can't sprint as fast. my stamina sucks. that's why i always can't find a girl whom i like and make her like me back? no matter what i do.. is that being emo? no that's reality. if you've nothing better than other man, the girl you like won't like you. she'll like the better one. isn't that so very true?my muscles all aching. all over. tomorrow i think it'll still be as bad. so during training i won't be able to serve properly. and then kena owned by everybody. table tennis now also have warm up exercises lor. and it's really gay. coach said it's because the pe department wants us to do it. yea. and it seems like we're doing everything judo is doing. they greet their coach, we have to too. now we have to do warm up exercises too. we're doing everything judo is doing la. the only difference is that we don't throw people. yea. maybe next time our physical training really judo coach takeover. coach said that before. later next time really liddat.. what the hell.
tomorrow i need to wake up in the morning. and that's damn early cos i wake up in the afternoon everyday.
i realised nowadays i'm feeling very empty. cos i'm close to no one. and sometimes i get mood swings. again. i thought the mood swings stopped. but now it doesn't appear to be so.
i guess i've changed a lot from the me when i was in primary school. i don't know. but i can really feel the change. sometimes i don't know even the things i do and why i did do them. and sometimes i wonder what i am now. i'm still me. but i'm different. i guess that's the only explanation.
i'm scared of amanda. every time i talk to her i try to get very patient. and i really am very patient when i talk to her. because whatever she says i won't lose my cool. it someone else said them then it would be a different case. yea. i'm scared of her. not the primary school one la. yea. i'm scared of a girl one year younger than me. very brave right. oh i should just dig a hole in the ground and keep myself inside.
i go sleep ready la, asshole. i have to wake up in the morning tomorrow. dunno why coach changed training time. but he did. so bye.
Ng Guan Yi at 2:29 AM
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
i've got a lot of cuts and bruises on my knuckles and fingers and all.. i don't even know where and how i got them. and the thing is.. i don't feel it when i get them. it's like after dunno how long later, i look at my hand and realise it is red and then find out that i got a cut. i mean, what the hell man.. how did i get them.. and why the hell didn't i feel it..Ng Guan Yi at 1:18 AM
Monday, November 17, 2008
she's back .Ng Guan Yi at 11:43 PM
i would give my all for the girl i love. i know i would. i would give even my life for her, and i know i really would. i dunno why. maybe it's because i dunno the value of my life. or maybe it's because i'm willing to give everything for my love. i think it's because i cannot find the value in my life. up till now i still can't. yea. so when i find my love she would be all my life. hey but stop it. STOP IT!!! sorry i'm talking to myself. yea. stop it was for myself. and people who said that i'm a flirt horny whatever, fcuk them. i didn't type it wrongly. i just didn't want to swear. i know i already did. but i'll change. so sshhh. don't talk.i'm training on my service. and 拉ing top spin balls. today i really managed to get the 感觉. but i don't know whether i can remember or find back the 感觉 next training. or maybe i'll forget how to 拉 down spin balls. yea. but i'm training on my service. and coach doesn't want to help me get a new bat. i cannot get it on my own cos i don't know which one i should get. so must wait for coach. coach said he's busy. so i'd probably gotta wait a long long time before i do get my new bat. now my bat is damn screwed.. but never mind i say ready you also won't understand. and now a lot of my muscles aching. really. shit man. i trained too much on my service. and when i 拉 top spin balls just now, cos i'm not very good at it, so coach put the ball shooter to shoot all the balls to the same spot. then when i 拉 i had to stand there and that position killed my muscles la. now i cannot stand up properly okay. my heels are hurting. my shoulders. my thighs. thighs not that pain. cos my thighs are powerful ^^ as in seriously. my thighs are used to it already. cos when i 拉 down spin balls it's much more... yea. my thighs are strong. but they look fat.. so sad. haha. never mind. when i wear shorts nobody see them. so it's alright.. xD
Ng Guan Yi at 10:40 PM
Sunday, November 16, 2008
i'm trying very hard to become the type of boy she would maybe pay a little attention to. yea. but i don't have the slightest idea what exactly does she want. i know maybe she doesn't want anything right now or is happy with whatever she got. yea. but just.. yea you know. haha xDbut shit i'm not growing taller okay.. i'm short x( and fat x( and heavy x( and weak x(
i wanna grow taller.
i wanna learn electric guitar.
i wanna learn bass guitar.
i wanna learn acoustic guitar.
i wanna learn drum.
i want another ton of muscles.
i wanna become a christian.
i wanna know her better.
i wanna know what she likes. and what she doesn't.
i wanna know her favourite hangouts.
i wanna know where she goes to when she's happy. and where when she's not.
i wanna know what she does usually. and what she's doing right now.
i wanna know what she's doing. all the time.
i wanna know how her voice sounds like.
i wanna know how to woo her.
there's so many things i want. but on top of all those i just want her.
and i'll do whatever it takes.
Ng Guan Yi at 11:00 PM
i miss somebody.Ng Guan Yi at 10:46 PM
Thursday, November 13, 2008
i no fuel ready. not enough to let you take another ride. okay? how much do you want from me? what exactly did i do to you? you said i hurt you.. k fine. i wont start explaining things all over again. i'm very sick and tired of doing this so i won't. but what rights do you have to say that i hurt you? you took me for a ride, baby. what did you want? you wanted the experience! you got it. so why are you hurt? said you liked me. said you loved me. you don't and you never did. i don't know and i don't care whether you were talking about me. but this will be the last time i'm talking about you. it didn't even start. but it's over. now it's over, baby, it's over.from the next post onwards "you" will not be the "you" "you" used to refer to. torn those pages off my history, they're gone with the wind. cos they're not significant. and when the wind takes them away i won't even try to catch them.
不是爱情的爱情 — 并不是爱情。 我慢慢上了没有你的轨道，也是时间加速了。因为在我的眼前，还有一片蓝蓝的天。这是一个我从来没看过的天空，我会用力地去追。
Ng Guan Yi at 11:43 PM
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
just now raining quite heavily.. yea. vicky said it wouldn't really matter.. but still a bit worried. now rain stopping ready. haha xD yea i guess it totally stopped ready la. haha. xDNg Guan Yi at 8:46 PM
We'll do it allEverything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
I said too much
They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Ng Guan Yi at 12:18 PM
Monday, November 10, 2008
i woke up around 7.15 today.. because someone was leaving at 11. haha. she wont read this anyway. she's already on her way to overseas.. haha xD didn't know i would feel this way.. i mean i did. but i didn't expect it to be so strong.. haha. just.. have fun!! hahawill be training in a few hours time. totally dont feel like training. today i dont wanna do anything else.
Ng Guan Yi at 10:59 AM
Saturday, November 8, 2008
actually i had a lot to say.. but suddenly every thing's gone and i don't have anything more to say. just that.. i've been thinking lah. and i've thought about this quite a number of times already.. and.. i still don't have the answer. shit. i'll think more. maybe i shouldn't. ... dunno.Ng Guan Yi at 9:12 PM
Friday, November 7, 2008
chenwei very clever. today he wore pe shirt. got the raffles big big behind.. so in the end we got chased out of the arcade.i wanna change a new bat. and i wanna change to totally the same one as my old one. but i cannot find.. and i dont want to use the 长胶 with the 海绵. so.. you know what i mean arh. but.. cannot find. so ya. asking coach to help me find. and he's gonna find a different bat from my old one. a bit worried but haiz.. got what choice?
i wanna learn how to drive. and i wanna drive. and i wanna buy a car. damn cool sports car very low no roof.. then i wanna drive my girlfriend to somewhere very quiet, some where like a hill or the beach at night. then we can fall asleep together after watching the stars.. and then i will wake up early, and then wake her up to watch sunrise together. but i'm single. shit. and i'm poor. no money buy car, dunno how to drive..
and right now i just wanna grow a bit taller.
Ng Guan Yi at 10:57 PM
Thursday, November 6, 2008
wah lao yesterday training.. the training started ready.. then i realised i didn't bring my bat. there was once i brought my bat and shoes but forgot my socks. then this time i brought my shoes and socks.. but forgot to bring my bat. then in the end have to borrow from nigel. haha. lucky he have sia. and he also using pimple. so still quite okay. except his bat no 弹力. so i had to use a lot of strength to get the ball over, and i cannot spin the ball a lot, cos if i spin then not enough power then the ball won't go over. yea.oh and shit man. i'm getting fat. i should start doing sit ups, and stop eating so much. cos every night i watch television until 1am. so while i'm watching i've nothing to do i eat and eat. then now fat.. haiz.
i damn sian okayy.. nothing to do. but i got a lot of things i wanna do. but i got nothing to do. hey i just realised miniclip got this game called "mccain vs obama"! hahaha.
Ng Guan Yi at 1:07 PM
Sunday, November 2, 2008
hey when we split, you know, i really felt the pain okay. not that any of us were really serious.. i didn't know why too. seems like now it's really over. i really dont feel anything now. at first i refused to let go. but since the ride is over i'm leaving. besides there's this judo girl whom i'm not confident in winning, but it seems like she's a good enough reason for me to put down everything in the past. although i know i'm a failure, like in huirou's case, but i'm willing to give it a try even though i may get even worst than what huirou did to me. but compared to this girl, look, what huirou could possibly do was just nothing. so if i really fall this time, i know i can never stand up again. is this feeling strong enough to be called love? fuck.Ng Guan Yi at 9:41 PM